"Spirit of Offense" - Intro

The spirit of offense has become very prevalent within the body of Christ. The permeation of this spirit within the church is responsible for the substantial amount of disunity among Christian brothers and sisters.  The spirit of offense is very strong and there are countless things which can bring about offense.  Typically offenses are brought about by wounded persons or individuals misunderstanding the actions or words of others.

Hurt People Hurt Others

“Hurt people hurt people”, this saying is true on many levels.  Many people experience tragic circumstances within their lives which make it extremely difficult for them to navigate their way through their lives normally.  As a natural line of defense, people will build emotional walls to protect themselves from further hurt or vulnerability against physical or emotional attacks.  For example, in cases where there has been some form of sexual abuse, the individual may exhibit a rough or unfriendly demeanor.  While this explanation is not for the purpose of minimizing a person’s negative actions, it is, however, aimed at shedding light on the possible causes of that person’s negative actions. People naturally respond negatively to negative situations because the mind has difficulty managing or processing what has occurred.  There is ALWAYS hurt at the root of the behavior of a hostile or angry person.  Anger is normally an immediate response to disrespect or an offense.  Sometimes the pain from the offense can prove to be more devastating than an individual can handle.  With growth and maturity, people will be able to look beyond the exterior of an offensive person and encourage them to change the interior.  

When we encounter people who exhibit traits that may be bothersome to us, we may find ourselves wondering why they do not seem to be aware of their issues and work to rectify them.  Many of our inadequacies are similar to a piece of lint resting on the back of the head.  Others can see it clearly, but it is invisible to us.  Even looking into a mirror, we do not see the lint unless we get a second mirror and do a complete inspection of the area.  Unfortunately, we do not always have a second mirror at our disposal.  Some of our major issues are recognizable to others but not to us.  If we were instructed to list ten negative things about ourselves, most of our lists would stop at number two or three. However, another person could quickly identify most or all of our negative traits.  It is difficult to adequately recognize all of our own positive or negative traits.  Frustration, as a result of an offense, will cloud our judgment and prohibit us from understanding this fact.  However, when we demonstrate the same level of patience with another individual as we would like for others to offer to us, our vision in regards to their issues as well as our own will become clearer.  

"Getting an Understanding" Conclusion

Understanding Family Relationships

People sometimes face problems in their marriage because they believe that making God number One is either being in church seven days a week or practicing certain traditions that they view as putting God first.  But the Bible explains how to put God first as singles; and it explains how to make God number One in a marriage.  In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, it lets us know that unmarried people are supposed to be concerned with the things of God; how we may please God.  That means that as singles,  all of our time belongs to God. When we give our time completely to God, He will show us the areas in ourselves that disqualifies us for marriage so that we can allow Him to make the necessary changes in us. Within a marriage, the Bible says that the married man and the married woman care for the things of the world, not caring about worldly things such as tangible luxuries.  It makes it clear that the main concern is to please their spouse.  People have traveled and preached all over the globe for years only to watch their spouse leave them after decades of marriage.  They felt that the breakup of their marriage was solely an attack of the enemy instead of the consequence of a lack of understanding.  God intends for married couples to spend quality time with one another because their relationship symbolizes the relationship that Christ has with the Church.

People have raised their children in church only to watch their children grow into adults and leave the church.  They believed that training a child up in the way that they should go simply involved bringing them to church to be preached to.  Unfortunately, in many cases, the parents did not live the same life at home as they did in church or the child did not receive adequate instruction and training at home.  Training a child involves spending a lot of time with them instructing them in life and what the word of God has to say concerning life and consequences.  Sometimes the mother spends too much time at conferences. Attending some conferences can be beneficial but if the woman has to be loosed EVERY year, she needs to be saved.  Some of the prices that people are required to pay for conferences include:  $75, $100, $125, and $200, just to attend a conference!  Someone needs to teach the word of God!  Bible class is free!  Good sound teaching is free.  Church programs have been used in many cases to unknowingly neglect children or not enough time was taken out with them to adequately teach them the word.  

God desires for us to receive the complete benefit package that He has prepared for us.  However, we have to understand the process to be qualified to receive what He has for us.  God qualifies us as we live in obedience to His word.

"Getting an Understanding" Part 4

Understanding How to Live Life

Romans 8:28 says that we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.  Sometimes there is the tendency to believe that this means that only the desired outcome will be felt.  But as parents should teach their children, everything good for you will not always feel good to you.  Sometimes God will allow us to be placed in tough conditions in order to bring us to a place of change that will enable us to receive everything that God has for us.  Everything that the Bible instructs us to avoid or give up comes with severe consequences if we are not willing to obey the commands.  If we research and study some of the consequences that the Israelites had to suffer as a result of their disobedience, we can get a better understanding of why we are instructed to abstain from certain things.  It is not for the sake of hampering our fun but for the sake of enabling us to live the best life that God has for us.  

When we are instructed to get married before we participate in sex, it is for our own good.  One of the consequences for disobeying this command is the broken heart that we get when we develop a sexual bond with someone that eventually separates from us.  This is so destructive for some people that they never recover from their broken heart.  They become hardened and unforgiving.  They have a hard time giving love and a hard time receiving love.  This is not what God desires for us because He wants us to experience the full magnitude of His love.  Another consequence of sex outside of marriage is the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.  Some diseases are deadly and will bring about an untimely death.  Other diseases will bring about various outbreaks or cause a great amount of discomfort.  Although we may be aware of the existence of these diseases prior to having sex, we tend to forget about or ignore the danger of getting a disease while engaging in sex.  Afterwards, when we decide to think logically, we tend to think:  if only I had not done it or I wish I could have that decision back.  

The most obvious consequence of premarital sex is the production of children.  In some cases the children were unplanned or there was no desire to produce children.  The most notable consequences are the realization that you will have to raise a child alone or face financial disparity as a result of making astronomical payments to the other parent of the child.  The non-obvious consequence is that every child who does not receive a balanced interaction from both parents will grow up with a deficit.  This creates major issues for them and those who will have constant contact with them as an adult.  When these consequences become a real part of our lives there is always the tendency, as a parent, to blame the other parent of the child for the state that we find ourselves in.  When there is a lack of desire to accept responsibility for our actions, there is the potential to repeat the destructive pattern of events that put us in the present state that we find ourselves in.  It also prohibits us from being healed from our hurt and moving beyond the place that we may currently find ourselves in.  In all our getting, get understanding.

"Getting an Understanding" Part 3

Understanding Godly Interactions

When we work to get an understanding, it will enable us to effectively interact with one another.  Sometimes we come in contact with people who we feel have major issues.  We all have issues, but our issues diminish the more we submit ourselves to God.  We may feel that a person who has been molested or subjected to some other form of cruelty should have gotten over it after a certain amount of time.  We may think to ourselves, isn’t 30 years long enough to get over that?  The old adage that time heals all wounds is simply not true.  A person will go to their grave with the same issue if they fail to confront and deal with it.  The Bible tells us that those of us who are strong should bear the infirmities of the weak.  In some cases, we need to empathize with what people have been through in their life.  Then you will need to understand the psychology and physiology behind their trauma in order to be familiar with the known effects of what they have experienced.  Then you can understand the reason why they behave the way that they do and can effectively minister to them.  Laying hands and sending people on their way will not solve most issues.  Something has to be done on the part of the individual in order to become free of their issues.  

In some cases, the individual has to be made aware that the trauma that they have suffered has had a severe negative impact on them and their behavior and they have to acknowledge it before they can begin to heal.  Various people will handle the same issue differently.  One woman who has been raped will develop a strong hatred for men.  No man regardless of how well he treats her will gain her trust.  Every man will have to pay for what one individual has done.  Another woman who is the victim of rape will become promiscuous because there may be a distorted sense of pleasure that is associated with the violation that has occurred.  Still, yet another woman will blame herself and believe that she was deserving of the mistreatment that she has experienced and that she should not expect to ever be treated with any amount of dignity and respect.  All of these women have responded negatively to the same act but each woman’s response was completely different.  Since people respond to the same things differently, we cannot use a generic solution for everyone.  We need to first pray concerning the person that we are dealing with and for the proper solution to effectively minister to them.  Then we will need to familiarize ourselves with the issue that the individual is dealing with.  A thorough understanding is needed to ensure that we give the proper attention to the person without making ignorant and damaging statements.  Although this journey through life is a personal one, we do not travel it alone.  We are constantly encouraged to fellowship with one another and come together in unity.  In all your getting, get understanding.

The Bible tells us that it is good when brothers dwell together in unity.  Science has proven that when we develop a bond and a strong relationship with people, we take on each other’s characteristics and traits.  You may notice that if you are around a person long enough, the two of you will utter the same sentence or words at the same time.  Some women who live together and have a strong bond have been known for their menstrual cycle to line up with one another.  Many times, we suffer from the can’t help its; either because of the things that we allow into our lives or the company that we keep.  I heard someone mention recently that whenever you are dealing with some issue in particular, take inventory of what you are watching on television and what music you are listening to.  In addition, you have to be cautious of ALL of your affiliations.  If none of your closest friends are saved, something is wrong with your salvation.  We draw closest to those with whom we have more in common with.  The PRACTICE of salvation is more important than the PROFESSION of salvation.  

"Getting an Understanding" Part 2

Understanding When God is Speaking

Another misconception that people have is that God will always speak directly to them.  But He won’t because some of the questions that we may ask Him are already written in His word.  Other times, He sends someone to give us His answer but we have rejected the answer because it may have been unfavorable to us.  God will not always speak directly to us because He does not want us to isolate ourselves from other believers.  Within the body of Christ we sing, “Long as I got King Jesus I don’t need nobody else.”  But the ‘nobody else’ is normally who God will use to give us what we need. If we need money, God does not rain down one hundred dollar bills from heaven.  He uses people who are obedient to Him and are in a position to give that money to us.  If we are dealing with suicidal thoughts, He will cause people to call us up out of the blue to talk to us or even stop by and check on us.  If we are feeling low, He is not coming down from heaven to embrace us, He sends someone to give us a hug and demonstrate the love of Christ even when they don’t understand why they are compelled to do so. 

Understanding the Importance of Godly Fellowship

It is essential that we create and maintain a bond with the people of God because the devil’s desire is to divide and conquer.  If he can get us alone, he can attack us in our minds and bombard us with negative thoughts.  Standing firm becomes even more difficult because we do not have the necessary support that is needed to combat him.  Even when Jesus sent His disciples out, they were sent out two by two.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 says though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. People decide to take extended stays from church and proclaim that God has called them away but His Word instructs us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together.  Every command that God has given us to follow is for our benefit.  When we remove ourselves from His umbrella of safety, whether out of ignorance or out of rebellion, we place ourselves in a vulnerable position.  We all make mistakes and have to deal with the consequences of the decisions that we make but we move beyond those decisions as we learn from previous mistakes and do things differently.  When you know better, you do better.  

God wants us to create and build effective relationships within the body of Christ. There are times when we may be tired on Sundays and want to go directly home after church but it helps for us to fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ.  It also helps to be in the midst of conversation that doesn’t involve profanity or corrupt dialogue. Proverbs 22:24, 25 tells us not to make friends with an angry or hot tempered man or you will learn his ways.  This does not just simply apply to angry people but it also applies to all manner of people.  Some affiliations need to be severed or diminished.  We may have unsaved people in our lives but they should not be our main source of companionship. Ephesians 5:11 tells us not to have any fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness.  And Paul was referring to the ones in the church.  So if you are to avoid those in the church who walk in darkness, you should definitely be cautious of your affiliations outside of the church.  Surrounding ourselves with Godly people will help us to please God.